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Saturday, September 10, 2011

'Why don't you get in those heart patterned boxer shorts and leave me out of it?' - Chuck Norris as Walker, Tx Ranger

Summer has ended and we here at the shop are faced with the aftermath of spending the hours of 1pm to 3pm watching Walker, Texas Ranger everyday. We learned alot. Alot about ourselves, alot about crime (yes, there are things we didn't know about crime.) and alot about Dallas. Here is a list of things we learned.

1. Everyone in Dallas fights the cops all the time.

It doesn't matter why the cops are around, doesn't matter the time of day; if the cops are around civilians, there will be a fight. Walker has to fight fools sometimes when he's just trying to walk down the street. It's hard to be a Ranger.

2. Walker's back handed fist slap move is not effective unless it's in slow motion.

We've watched him do it hundreds of times in fights, but it doesn't do shit unless it's in slow-motion.

3. CD's chili is magic.

It's cured ailments and when people talk shit on CD's chili they get smacked. This stuff has magic powers that we think even Walker can't fathom. Respect CD's chili.

4. Karate fixes everything.

In the series karate has brought families together, got kids out of gangs, cured physical and mental maladies, brought forgiveness to a kid that shot another kid, saved Dallas from biochemical disaster and it also got cholos to quit cholo-ing and start re painting the school goddamnit. Karate rules.

This is just a short list of all that Walker has brought to our lives. Stop by sometime and we can tell you more.